Gestalting Dreams

gwynne: What I want you to do..is give a brief synopsis of your
dream..

gwynne: only one dream

cuddIesxo: how about I cut and paste it.. :>

gwynne: the most important one..

gwynne: and then you and I will Psychodrama it out..okay?

cuddIesxo: the one that was most important was the one I just
sent you...

gwynne: fine

cuddIesxo: ok...

gwynne: give me a synopsis

gwynne: in your words

cuddIesxo: shoot...going to have to type it out. the file is
empty..arrrr...

gwynne: just the highlights..

gwynne: not the whole thing..

cuddIesxo: a service station..

gwynne: the whole of it does not matter yet..

cuddIesxo: a contract

cuddIesxo: a picture

gwynne: who is in it?

cuddIesxo: I don't remember faces...strangers actually..and me

cuddIesxo: but the thought of Harry later in the dream

cuddIesxo: and people coming through time.

gwynne: okay..

gwynne: stop

cuddIesxo: looking for him. They were only a code or ID or
something of that type away.

gwynne: I want you to be one of the people...

gwynne: and I will be you..

gwynne: okay?

cuddIesxo: ok

gwynne: What are you looking for?

cuddIesxo: a code

gwynne: I don't know any code

gwynne: what code?

cuddIesxo: it is a code that will permit me to enter this time

gwynne: (just let yourself fantasize)

gwynne: Why do you want to enter this time

gwynne: ???

cuddIesxo: I am after someone here.

cuddIesxo: I am being sent

gwynne: b y whom?

cuddIesxo: dark side

gwynne: and why should I tell you the code...if you represent
the dark side/

gwynne: ?

gwynne: WE don't allow the dark side here...Harry nor I

cuddIesxo: I don't know. It is my responsibility to obtain it and
ride the one

gwynne: Especially Harry

cuddIesxo: I am right on his heels.

cuddIesxo: only a time away

gwynne: what is your intent?

gwynne: You cannot reach him..because I am his protectorate

gwynne: so you will have to go through me...

cuddIesxo: I don't know....harm? retrieval?

gwynne: sorry..

gwynne: you cannot deal with him

cuddIesxo: she has the code

gwynne: so deal with me..

cuddIesxo: she lied

gwynne: who is she?

cuddIesxo: Victoria

gwynne: I am Victoria

cuddIesxo: it is on the disk in her pocket..

cuddIesxo: I have her picture

gwynne: speak to me..as you

cuddIesxo: I will come for her

gwynne: I have your picture

gwynne: I will come for you

cuddIesxo: why? what do you want from me? I won't give it to
you..

gwynne: (cuddles..I am Victoria...) this is a I YOU

cuddIesxo: my heart is pounding and I am shaking

gwynne: You are the dark force...

gwynne: do you want to be Victoria now?

gwynne: I will be the dark force...

gwynne: can you make the switch

cuddIesxo: no...I don't want to be the dark one. I will harm no one

cuddIesxo: I won't do it

cuddIesxo: i will protect

gwynne: are you inagreement..

gwynne: WE have come to take Harry with us..

cuddIesxo: not with each other. no

gwynne: and we will find the code to enter your world..

cuddIesxo: I won't harm him

cuddIesxo: I won't give it to you

gwynne: it will be easy as he loses his ego and goes into JOHN

gwynne: we don't need you..

cuddIesxo: not with this bodies last breath

cuddIesxo: then why involve me?

gwynne: Because you are the weak link...

gwynne: and we cannot get through to otheres..

cuddIesxo: then I will distance myself from them

gwynne: your ego is weak..

cuddIesxo: I will give you no accesss

cuddIesxo: I will cut myself off from them

gwynne: and you have been going through the initiation process

gwynne: so you are even weaker..

cuddIesxo: no

gwynne: who is them?

cuddIesxo: I will not allow it

cuddIesxo: gwynne and harry and all those you intend to harm

gwynne: no you won't..they won't let you..because they love
you..

gwynne: we will only find someone else..

cuddIesxo: I love them enough to send them off...

gwynne: weaker than you...

cuddIesxo: NO...'

gwynne: maybe even KC

cuddIesxo: NO

cuddIesxo: LEAVE HER ALONE

cuddIesxo: NOT KC

gwynne: yes..we can do wonders...because the dark force is
with us..

gwynne: and it is much more powerful than your LIGHT AND
LOVE

cuddIesxo: NO good will win out

cuddIesxo: no

cuddIesxo: I won't allow it

gwynne: The dark force is nothing but repressed memories...

gwynne: your memories...

cuddIesxo: do with me what you will but I will not allow harm to
come to any oen

gwynne: and we can get to you..

gwynne: because you cannot repress them any more

cuddIesxo: no..you give me no credit..I am stronger than you think

gwynne: STOP

gwynne: What are you feeling right now?

cuddIesxo: I am in tears and shaking and chest is heavy and in
pain

gwynne: okay...what is in your chest...trying to come out..?

cuddIesxo: evil? curse words? a hard ball

cuddIesxo: I wanted to curse them

gwynne: what are those words..

gwynne: go ahead and curse them..

cuddIesxo: BITCH

gwynne: right now..

cuddIesxo: BAASTARDS

gwynne: they are worse than that...

gwynne: what are they trying to do to you?

cuddIesxo: hurt me

cuddIesxo: get to me

gwynne: and how old do you feel right now?

gwynne: in your body..

cuddIesxo: I don't know..the first number that comes to my head
is 5

gwynne: okay..

gwynne: stay there

gwynne: now...be 5

gwynne: what do you see...

gwynne: about the evil forces around you..

gwynne: right now..at 5

cuddIesxo: several images

cuddIesxo: a dream I had as a child

cuddIesxo: darkness

gwynne: just spontaneously give them

cuddIesxo: bunkbeds

cuddIesxo: children in a forest

cuddIesxo: sisters

gwynne: what are you fearing my child...

cuddIesxo: mom and dad

gwynne: what is happening..that you fear?

cuddIesxo: I don't want to be hit or mom to be hit

gwynne: okay...

gwynne: so you are protecting mom?

gwynne: with your energy..???

cuddIesxo: yes and sisters

gwynne: who is going to hit them?

cuddIesxo: my father

gwynne: I want you to face your father...

gwynne: I want you to muster up all your strenght

gwynne: and face him now

gwynne: What do say to him as he readies to hit your mom?

cuddIesxo: don't you dare touch her...

gwynne: and

cuddIesxo: he never sees me

gwynne: he sees you..

cuddIesxo: I called the police

gwynne: tell him all the things you have wanted to tell him..

gwynne: no I want you to confront him

gwynne: in your fantasy

gwynne: what do you want to say to him..???

cuddIesxo: you are so mean

cuddIesxo: how can you do this

cuddIesxo: what has she done

gwynne: why is he not hitting you?

cuddIesxo: why

cuddIesxo: just why?

gwynne: why do you think?

cuddIesxo: he does hit me, and my mom, and my sisters

cuddIesxo: they are so young

gwynne: so just talk to him about you...

gwynne: I want you to be your FATHER

gwynne: I will be CUDDLES

gwynne: okay?

cuddIesxo: ok

gwynne: Why do you keep making us afraid of you?

gwynne: what is your problem?

cuddIesxo: She angers me

gwynne: don't you see that we are afraid of our own father..

gwynne: YOu anger me..I YOU

gwynne: Why are you angry..???

cuddIesxo: Why? I demand respect

gwynne: Who made you so angry...???

cuddIesxo: I am in the military

gwynne: I don't respect you...

cuddIesxo: you should be saying yes sir and no sir

gwynne: There is something wroong with you...

gwynne: you aren't a sir

gwynne: you are an animal.

gwynne: you keep hitting us...

cuddIesxo: You are confusing me

gwynne: and we have no one to protect us..

cuddIesxo: I am your father

gwynne: so

cuddIesxo: I love you

gwynne: does that give you the right to hit us..

cuddIesxo: you are beautiful

gwynne: your love is sick.

cuddIesxo: if you are good and listen I don't need to hit

gwynne: what else have you been doing to me..

gwynne: besides hitting me?

cuddIesxo: Obey your mother so I don't have to listen to it when
we get home

cuddIesxo: nothing

gwynne: My mother is betraying us..maybe she likes to get hit..

gwynne: she has no discipline..

cuddIesxo: I think your mother was sexually abused as a child

cuddIesxo: I have no proof

cuddIesxo: but just a thought

gwynne: So that gives her no reason to not take care of her
own children..

gwynne: and to scare the shit out of them with their father..

gwynne: tattle tale

cuddIesxo: She does take care.

gwynne: STOP

gwynne: no she doesn't Cuddles..

gwynne: she knows you are going to get hit..

gwynne: and so will she..

cuddIesxo: why do I defend them both?

gwynne: why are you having problems seeing that..

cuddIesxo: I don't

gwynne: because they are all you have..

gwynne: we all defend our parents...

gwynne: and refuse to see them as dysfunctional adults..

gwynne: making excuses for them..

cuddIesxo: I have anger for her not taking her share of the
responsibility. SHe is responsible for our beatings
most of the time.

gwynne: when in fact..they reek havoc

gwynne: what is going on with you right now..???

cuddIesxo: He was in the army and saw a lot of action

cuddIesxo: he had a rough childhood

gwynne: so why do you keep making excuses for her?

gwynne: Let me tell you something...

cuddIesxo: I love hiim

gwynne: I was sexually abused/beaten/etc...for 15 years...

cuddIesxo: no matter what he has done. I still love hiim.

gwynne: and I did not let anyone get near my children...to
touch them..only to love them..

gwynne: because of that fact..

gwynne: My father is very close and loving to both of my
children..

gwynne: and I am very up front with him...and my
mother..about all of this..

gwynne: It is a cycle..that can only be broken through
confrontation/compassion and love..

gwynne: But nothing is under the table in my family..

gwynne: nothing

gwynne: do you understand...

gwynne: ??

cuddIesxo: but i don't love her. yes

gwynne: all you can do is protect your own children... and love
her in her weakness..

gwynne: don't pretend she is a good mother..

gwynne: and by no means give her the power to remain in her
lies..

cuddIesxo: I do.

gwynne: she probably hates men..and sabatoges your efforts
being with a man

cuddIesxo: you mean call her on them when i see it

cuddIesxo: yes..she hates men..

cuddIesxo: I believe

gwynne: in a way she can hear..

gwynne: I don't confront my father ..in a way he cannot hear..

gwynne: and I still work with my mother daily..

gwynne: and she cries and feels sorry for herself..when I
do..but I also am her best friend..

gwynne: and we just get over it..

gwynne: I don't tell her I am sorry..I just say..you are
strong..and you will make it..and she is 72

cuddIesxo: my mother has a mouth. She runs to everyone if she
feels mistreated.

cuddIesxo: that makes me look real good...

cuddIesxo: you can kiss her but and she still won't be happy

cuddIesxo: you know what she said to me when I told her I was
starting this class?

cuddIesxo: she said.

cuddIesxo: well I guess times are different..I never left you
girls..you were always with me

cuddIesxo: She thinks she is so perfect

cuddIesxo: she thinks she has the front seat ticket to heaven

cuddIesxo: and that i am iffy

cuddIesxo: but she is a glutten for she keeps coming back to me
for more

cuddIesxo: but now she is getting more and more frustrated with
me and distancing herself from me. I don't take her
mess and manipulation like I used to..

cuddIesxo: do I harbor this anger towards her because the
beatings didn't have to happen?..

cuddIesxo: she is to blame?

cuddIesxo: I know she is

cuddIesxo: I blame her...you can just tell me to shut up any time
not..giggle

cuddIesxo: not=now

gwynne: do you see how you betray Victoria when you are with
her..

gwynne: ???

cuddIesxo: yes

gwynne: pretending..

gwynne: and believing her perception..is more accurate than
yours?

gwynne: This is as far as I want you to go on thsi..

cuddIesxo: no..she doesnt' know what is best for me.

cuddIesxo: ok

gwynne: will explain how it is related to the dream..

gwynne: okay?

cuddIesxo: ok

cuddIesxo: and the face of color melting in the white wall?

cuddIesxo: and Harry

gwynne: The darkness is the 5 year old...afraid that someone
is going ot harm people she loves..

gwynne: that someone is Harry in the dream..

gwynne: but what you are really picking up..is that Harry..

gwynne: also has a rage aholic behavior

gwynne: that he does not reveal to others..'

gwynne: so that is the dark force in him..

gwynne: that will beat him up..

gwynne: do you get it?

gwynne: and you are trying to protect him

cuddIesxo: yes...and it was coming to beat up on him and me

gwynne: like you did with your father..

gwynne: so you see how all of this works..

gwynne: and how you integrate this..???

gwynne: your work is not over with all of this..

gwynne: it just needs some imaging..

cuddIesxo: yes...then he isn't in danger...I am relieved

gwynne: of kindness

gwynne: and understanding

gwynne: and light..

gwynne: he is very much in danger...by his own darkness

gwynne: you are accurate..

gwynne: you are reading...but not know what you are reading..

gwynne: and that is dangerous

cuddIesxo: why?

gwynne: because you see it as outside of Harry..

gwynne: and it is inside of Harry..

gwynne: He needs to learn to control his rage..

gwynne: which he is working on..

gwynne: many men..are succumbed by the darkness...

gwynne: in themselves..as was your father..

gwynne: because they do not have a healthy female soul..

gwynne: to be with them..to carry their soul..the ANIMA

gwynne: understand?

cuddIesxo: what is anima?

gwynne: The female archetype of the MALE

cuddIesxo: ok

gwynne: and it is usually represented by the female in their
lives..

gwynne: The Male archetype in a woman is the ANIMUS

cuddIesxo: how am I to help him?

cuddIesxo: what is this code I have on this disk?

gwynne: By being conscious of his responsibilities..to himself..

gwynne: and remind him to take care of himself..

gwynne: wrap him in white light..

gwynne: burn candles for him..

gwynne: and release him to his own responsibility..

gwynne: understand?

gwynne: LA are you following all of this?

gwynne: do you have anything to add?

Long Arrow2: yes

cuddIesxo: responsible to himself to control the rage?

gwynne: yes

gwynne: who else is going to control your rage..if not you...

Long Arrow2: No, I don't know of the background. But I agree with
everything I've heard.

gwynne: it doesn't matter about background..

gwynne: ever

gwynne: it doesn't matter about the WHYS

gwynne: what matters is bringing what we think into the
present..

gwynne: and dealing with it..

Long Arrow2: I don't think there is much I can add.

Long Arrow2: Only thing is, men usually hit because they are
frustrated.

cuddIesxo: was the colorful image melting in the wall Harry's
rage? colorful?

gwynne: what is your understanding of Cuddles work..

Long Arrow2: Doesn't make it right. They just don't know what else
to do.

gwynne: yes..and you can help through color imaging..

gwynne: changing to blue..

Long Arrow2: What is MY understanding...?

cuddIesxo: Does Harry know of this dream?

gwynne: yes..without interpreting..

gwynne: no.

Long Arrow2: yes to who, no to who?

gwynne: yes to you...

gwynne: Harry is unaffected by the dream...

gwynne: it is your dream..

gwynne: and you are picking up on it..

gwynne: When I dream of someone..I then make a drawing or
model...and place them in my light..and magic area..

gwynne: and meditate it all away..

Long Arrow2: I think her work is very good. I just think she needs
to let go. Accept what has happened, and no longer
give anyone her power.

gwynne: for clarity..

gwynne: not for making it all okay..

gwynne: this is a lesson..

gwynne: well that is a process...and I will ask you to repeat
that and put your I in there..

Long Arrow2: I don't know who Harry is.

gwynne: I just think I need to let go...to accept what has
happened and no longer give anyone my power...

gwynne: can you say that..???

cuddIesxo: yes

gwynne: You guys cannot get it..this is not about Harry..

cuddIesxo: I had let go for my father...

gwynne: this is about darkness..of childhood

cuddIesxo: just not the anger for my mother..

gwynne: fear of being beaten down..and betrayed...

gwynne: literally and figuratively..

gwynne: about darkness in males..in general..

gwynne: and betrayal of power by females..

gwynne: betrayal of children and the abuse of personal power
by females..

gwynne: cuddles you need to let me share this with KC so she
can understand herself...if possible..

cuddIesxo: there was more to this dream that I need to work on
other than what we discussed

cuddIesxo: that is ok with me...

gwynne: I know..and there will be more dreams..

gwynne: but I guarantee that the rest of the dream..will have
something to do with this..

cuddIesxo: I agree

cuddIesxo: why would you bring up coming after others earlier..

cuddIesxo: if I close myself off from you all

gwynne: so when you view this log...and I refer in your dreams
back to you...and your conception of this...you will
understand

gwynne: because I was capitalizing on your fears..and your
images..

gwynne: you are protecting KC at some level also

gwynne: don't you see that?

gwynne: from darkness?

cuddIesxo: I wasn't aware of that

cuddIesxo: no

gwynne: this is about Victoria...protecting others..

cuddIesxo: I know how much I care about her

cuddIesxo: but had never drempt of her..

gwynne: well you sure got mad at me..when I said I would go
for someone weaker...

gwynne: like KC

gwynne: this was just a dialogue..off of your dream...

gwynne: you just remember very small percentage of dreams..

cuddIesxo: I have meditated on her and her illness....imagining
myself pulling that ugliness of a cancer out of her

gwynne: so you cannot say that with asssuredness..

cuddIesxo: ok

gwynne: the dream goes very deep..

cuddIesxo: I think of her often...so I guess I do try to protect her
to...

gwynne: into your inner world..

gwynne: and mostly past childhood..

gwynne: but childhood is all we have to gestalt..

cuddIesxo: past lives?

gwynne: yes..

gwynne: and you could have very well been linked to all
concerned..in past lives..

cuddIesxo: how do I know what is past life and what is present life

gwynne: but it is still about you...

cuddIesxo: I know one thing..I have already made a contract
with a few in this one to see them again in another....

gwynne: When I dream...I am very psychic...and pick up
occaisionally very profound realizations about
others...but it is still MY PERCEPTION AND ME..

cuddIesxo: a verbal one

cuddIesxo: yes

gwynne: and to understand...me...I have to gestalt MY STUFF

cuddIesxo: ok

gwynne: When you split..and quit thinking it is your stuff..you
get very schizophrenic..

gwynne: and that is dangerous...

gwynne: that is why you are so taken with that element..

cuddIesxo: I get schizophrenic?

cuddIesxo: that explains my interest

gwynne: we all do..when we think that our higher power...is
telling us somehting that has nothing to do with US

gwynne: about others..

gwynne: At most..it can be about both others and US

cuddIesxo: I am at a loss for wods

cuddIesxo: words

gwynne: Our thoughts are still our thoughts..they may go into
the universse..and combine with other thoughts..and
w may pick them up...in that combination..

gwynne: but they are still our thoughts...

gwynne: how so?

cuddIesxo: I don't know..my mind wondered and then I found
myself thinking of KC..

cuddIesxo: when I came back to the screen

cuddIesxo: I had nothing to say

gwynne: I am going to send you this log..both of you.....KC
IMD me right in the middle of this..

cuddIesxo: I keep drifting right now

cuddIesxo: ok

gwynne: well..if you have no questions I must be going...okay?