Fish In The Tank

Alan Guiden

I see you, reading over my shoulder there, you crazy OB-fish (fishy's name). It's my email that I'm working on. I'm trying to answer these questions and write an article too. Now, swim the other direction please. You're making me nervous. I've got enough on my mind with all the packing before we move and...what? No, I won't put you in a box. You get to ride over in your tank, smarty. Who's uptight? Just because I've gotta get a new article out before we go and I'm way behind? Listen, I'm cool as a calmclumper, err...cuklecumber, umm...cucke as a coolbumbler. Oh forget it. I'M CALM! AAAAAHHHHH!!! (Alan collapses into a heap of boxes.)

OB-fish looks to the palmtop pc and works his fishy magic. Suddenly, the email Alan was answering...BECOMES the article, and all the pieces fall into place. OB-fish beams a big mustached smile, and goes back to eating plankton.

Dear Alan, you obsessive night-hopping dink,
(Okay, I made that part up. My intros are a lot funnier than yours.)

"I think the way you make yourself available to your readers is fantastic!" (This kindly individual goes on to ask a few well-thought and pertinent traveling questions, that you will soon read. Suspenseful, huh?)

Your loyal, devoted, trustworthy reader.
(I made that part up too. The actual name is "K".)


Hi K. Thank you for writing.
Good questions like yours make the task seem easy. As a matter o' fact, your questions are so good, and I am so busy with house-moving (well not moving the house, but rather, to it and its bunch 'o acres)...that I am gonna darn well use your questions in some sort of new article that I gotta write, if can find my wits in those boxes over there in the corner. (OB-fish grins at the irony.)

Hmm. All I gotta do is capitalize the sentences in this email to use it as an article. (Obviously done.) Dagnabit. I never capitalize in email 'cause it slows me down. But on the net, one must maintain a certain level of proper behavior. One must always present correct grammerness and punctuationals. And I always be a might proud o' the way I speaks. Yesindeededo. (I amuse me.)

Anyway K, consider yourself awarded (hoorah). You the win the coveted...
"Alan's-Gonna-Snag-My-Questions Award".
Because YOU represent the pulse of the people. YOU are the very nature of traveling beyond the physical body. YOU, yes YOU! (Wow, this is turning into some award.) YOU are the voice of millions!!! (Alan flails with excitement and falls from his chair.)

And now (cymbals crash)...
3 Quick Questions From This Future Traveler Just Like You

"I have learned how to hypnotize this a good first step?"

Self-hypnosis is a great way to accomplish a travel and there are many good methods found in self-help books. I also used S-H quite a bit, from about age 14 to 16. I feel that many folks overplay the concept of hypnosis, treating it as a big scary mystery, practiced only in psych-offices or by side-show magicfolk. But (as you know:) hypnosis is fun for everyone. It simply involves a degree of relaxed-control, coupled with very direct instructions towards a desired goal. That makes it a natural for traveling.

"Can you, in a nonphysical state, interact with your physical in any way?"

I make mine flop around a lot and drive to the store for doughnuts. That's a joke. You can look at it your physical, touch it, jump in and out of it, and make it stop snoring. But anything you do near your physical may cause you to be pulled back into it. My standard (patented) advice: Until you're good at traveling; get out of your body, and get away from your body. Twenty feet away at least. This helps to prevent an immediate pull-back to your physical.

"Does traveling take away sleeping time, or are you just as rested as a full night's sleep?"

Well, let's put it this way. You may or may not feel as rested as a normal night's sleep, spent in blank unconsciousness (my, how appealing). But you won't give a rip either. In the first place, you'll feel jazzed by the very notion of having been beyond your body. That amazement can really charge the ol' noggin'. And in the second place, speaking of "charged" (as I was and now am), there is a definite sensation associated with getting out of body, that stays with you a good three-four-five (I like to count) hours after returning to your physical. Yes, it's a boost, a buzz, a zap that stays with you for a good long time before you fall asleep at your job. What were you thinking, traveling about like that on a work night? Go home and collapse into a normal night's sleep, spent in blank unconsciousness. I sure wish that I could. But I've got more packing to do.