Stories by Starlight

by Lynn B.
 
PROLOGUE

"Stories by Starlight" is written for the benefit for those of you who have had similar paranormal experiences so that you may know it is no longer necessary to walk this life path alone. For a long time I thought my experiences were unique to me and perhaps there was even something seriously wrong with me. At times I had doubts about my sanity, and still do! I seldom spoke of them to anyone, including those closest to me-or should I say-especially those closest to me! Even if you have never been out of the body, had a lucid dream or experienced anything at all paranormal, the experiences you will read about on this web page may at worst help you to see that this reality is not the only reality. It is possible that one day we may all experience these things routinely. The vibrations of this planet are changing daily, and every day I hear of people just like me who experience things that would have been unheard of twenty years ago. The stories we hear are sometimes quite astounding, unbelievable and often not at all understandable or easy to convey in words. I want to state for the record that everything I have written here is true. Often, I need to rely on my memory for the details, since I neglected to write everything down in the earlier experiences. However, the details I have given are as accurate as possible. If anything, I have lost rather than embellished details. I am sure there was more in some of the early experiences in my life but my memory does the best it can. The later experiences, I documented carefully, immediately after I experienced them. I lost little. Although they were not understandable to me for the most part, I am relating them exactly as I experienced them. I may try to make sense of them but they are open to interpretation.

I have included as much background as necessary about myself, and about my spiritual search. My life has always been anything but "normal," and even not including my rather unconventional life-style I always felt different from other people. These were not smug, intolerant feelings of difference, but rather of knowing that I was not existing in the exact same reality as those around me. That can be difficult to explain, so read and judge for yourself!


CANNIBALS

Life on this earth began for me in 1950 in a small, colonial country in Southern Africa. I was the eldest of four children. My father's job in construction took him to many outlying places where white people rarely ventured and where the normal comforts we now take for granted, such as electricity, running water, schools, and shops were nonexistent.

I was four years old when my father's first assignment out of the city where I had been born took us to an area that was wild and isolated. Rumor had it that a wild tribe of cannibals lived nearby. Contrary to "the world as Hollywood sees it," cannibals are not common in Africa, but they were also not unheard of. During World War 2 a plane went down in this area and the crew were never heard from again. Some years later, as the story goes, a traveler happened upon this tribe wearing the remains of the crew's clothing. All the neighboring tribes were convinced that these men had been eaten and were terrified of this particular tribe. It was easy to believe that this rumor had some basis in fact. As my parents went about their daily business, the tribal people in question would stand at the perimeter of our yard and silently stare at us.

The day I was presumed to have been eaten by cannibals, my father had gone off to the job site as usual, and my mother was at home with me, my sister and baby brother. I don't remember this day at all but it was a popular subject of discussion when I was older so I am familiar with most of the details from my parent's perspective. My mother had left me unattended for a while, being kept very busy with a smaller toddler and a baby. Later in the morning she had not heard or seen from me for some time so she began to call for me. There was no response. She enlisted the help of the household servants, and they began to look. Nothing. Frantic, she let my father know at the nearby job site that his help was needed. The search extended to the outside environs. Still nothing. My father had been a game hunter and still hunted on occasion, and he had a couple of expert trackers working for him who could track an animal in all conditions. He rounded them up and they searched as far as they could but found no tracks of a little girl anywhere. By dusk, they were now certain I was in a stew-pot somewhere. My mother came back into the house-the living room to be exact-to have a breakdown. As she did this, she heard a noise coming from behind the sofa! We had a sofa that had been pushed into a corner, leaving a small space behind it.

She found me there, crouched down behind the sofa, terrified-of what, she never could fathom. I was completely traumatized, and my mother believed I had been there the whole day, too terrified to emerge. Why would I do this? I asked. My mother surmised that when I heard her calling I had imagined I had done something wrong and was about to be punished. I hid behind the sofa, and then, realizing the escalation of events, became even more afraid to show myself.
I never did buy this story. On the other hand, I couldn't come up with a better explanation. There were too many unanswered questions in my mind. How could a four year old crouch behind a sofa for a full day, and not be seen or heard? This only happens in a parent's dream! I was not a hyperactive child, but neither was I completely comatose. Perhaps I fell asleep? Maybe, but for a whole day? There had been a lot of noisy calling and yelling, and my mother mentioned the living room being searched several times. If I had been sleeping, why had I been so terrified? I would have awakened and not known of a search going on and sleepily emerged as if nothing had happened.

For many years, these questions kept coming back to me each time the story was told. I still have no explanation, but it was only one of the many mysteries I have been confronted with. Something with no rational explanation always bothers me. Another mystery that always puzzled me, since no one outside of my family had ever mentioned this particular problem, were the family "nightmares."


NIGHTMARES

The nightmares began the same way for my mother, father, grandmother and myself. We would be sleeping peacefully, and suddenly be awakened for no apparent reason. It would seem as if 10,000 bees were buzzing in our heads, and we would be completely unable to move. Limbs, eyelids-every muscle in our body- were frozen. We could breath quite easily, but the terror of being completely paralyzed was indescribable, causing us to gasp for air and try in vain to move something...anything! My mother would try to cry out, and the only noise that issued from her
frozen vocal cords was a strangled moan. My father then obligingly touched or shook her: she would thank him and go to sleep again, perhaps only for them both to be awakened a few minutes later with the same problem.

This happened to me too, with some regularity. I found that sometimes I could blink an eyelid, and in so doing I would then be able to move my limbs again. It was only much later did I ever associate this condition with anything remotely paranormal. I did not know if my sisters or brother ever experienced this. They never mentioned it if they did.

When I grew older I read articles describing this cataleptic sleep condition. It was apparently caused by something in the brain that was responsible for keeping the muscles quiet while asleep, and when people like us awakened suddenly, the brain would forget to turn on the switch and a loss of muscle tone would be the result. The condition is known as cataplexy or sleep paralysis.

"Yes, definitely what I have!" I claimed. To this day I have no problem with that opinion. It describes the condition in every detail, even to the voices, presences and sounds that are experienced- the buzzing noises, the paralysis- was accurate and explained a lot. I began to
think of it as a minor but explainable problem. Just another card in the heredity pack.

It took a few years after coming to this conclusion before things started happening that caused me to be certain that there was much more to this condition than we knew about.


GOD

We moved from the cannibal place to another area that was more civilized and that brought me into contact with children my age who were also white. The settlement where we lived was in what was then known as Tribal Trust Land. This was where I started my schooling, at age 5. There were no schools in this area for white children and the African children had their own schools that we were not allowed to attend. It would have been unheard of in that era and social climate for a white child to attend a tribal school, and the older children were sent to boarding schools in cities. My mother had little choice but to teach me herself with the help of "Correspondence Schools" similar to those used for children in the outback of Australia. Mothers in this manner taught all their children too young for boarding school. My mother also doubled as the Sunday School teacher, and our education in Christianity began at an early age.

Christianity and the Bible were important to my parents. We toed the party line-God was a vengeful old man who meted out punishment for all wrongs, real and imagined. He was to be both feared and loved (I never did grab this concept) and was not above burning us in hell for a very long time if He so chose to. Our God was used in the "good guy bad guy" method of interrogation and manipulation-with Jesus being the "good guy," of course.

"Did you do this?" Mom or dad would point.
"Not me!"
"God will be very, very cross if you are lying!"
"W-wasn't me!"
"Jesus can see you-- He knows if you're lying, and He'll cry!"

At this stage, so was the offender, since my dad was a strong believer in corporal punishment. God was too slow. This may have been around the time I had the "Jesus Dream," or it could have been a little earlier.


JESUS IN THE PARK

I was sitting on a rock in beautiful park-like surroundings. Green, manicured grass with shady trees dotted here and there, and a meandering path wandering through them. I was dressed in a white dress in a style which all little girls of the 50's era wore- starched petticoats which made it stand out stiffly like a ballerina's tutu and puffy sleeves. My shoes were white and so were my socks. I am sure I had a ribbon in my hair as well, even though I couldn't see it. My mother made certain that I wore these unflattering bows so I always looked gift-wrapped. In this dream, I probably looked quite silly!

Since I lived in Africa, these park-like surroundings were not familiar to me. We had a park in the city I was born in, but this looked more like a park in the middle of London than an African city. As I sat there, not doing anything in particular, I saw several figures walking down the path towards me. I don't remember how many there were. Maybe three or four. I don't know if they were male or female. They were dressed in white robes that hung down to their feet. One of them told me to follow them and took my hand and led me down the path. We walked a little way and the path curved to the left. I saw this figure sitting on another rock some ways away. This
figure was also dressed in a white robe. As we got nearer, one of the groups told me very firmly, but kindly, to look down at the ground. I did so, and we were standing right in front of this other person. All I could see were his feet, which were wearing rough sandals.

Then the person holding my hand told me to kneel down. I did so, and I was told again NOT to look up! Then in an instant, with no sensation of moving, I found myself on this person's lap. I was told I could look up now, and I did. This part of the dream lasted about 3-4 seconds, no
longer. If it had lasted longer, I doubt I would be here now... I would have stayed! I looked into the most incredible eyes I have ever seen. They were large and brown, but what mesmerized me was the love that poured out of these eyes! Like a wave of absolute, unconditional, infinite love, they looked directly into my eyes, and I knew I would never experience love like that again. My heart was bursting with absolute joy when the dream ended.

The seated figure looked much as I had imagined Jesus to look. We had many pictures of Jesus around the house, and my dream figure was no different to these pictures. He had the long brown hair, parted in the middle, and the beard--but of course, the love in the eyes could never be
captured by any living artist.

The next day I probably remembered the dream, but I don't remember what I thought about it. I was brought up a Christian, and stories of Jesus were commonplace in my life. It is possible I thought I had met Jesus, but was too young to appreciate the significance of this meeting. It is possible I thought that this was not an extraordinary occurrence! I forgot about it for a long time, and it only seemed to come back to my memory a couple of times before I began to think of it as something special.


ANIMALS

In 1958 my youngest sister was born and we moved again. This time it was to a place where the only roads were dirt tracks and our nearest white neighbors were American missionaries who lived 50 miles away over nearly inaccessible track. My dad invested in a Land-Rover, which is like a Jeep, with a four-wheel drive. The Land-Rover suspension was non-existent, and we bounced and rattled inside the back of the vehicle like the balls in a Bingo drum. We shared this space with my father's hunting paraphernalia-a large hunting rifle and plenty of ammunition, just incase he saw game. All our meat was "on the hoof" and we purchased nothing from the butcher on our monthly trips to the nearest town. My father supplied meat for his whole work crew this way plus enough to fill our paraffin-fueled freezer and make "biltong," a delicious type of jerky, for a month. We really hated for him to see something. He would stop the Land Rover, out would come the rifle, and we would have a dead Impala or Kudu strapped to the roof for the rest of the way home. We did not like to see the animals being shot. It was traumatizing and we'd cry all the way home. My father would mutter "We have to eat…" and that would be that.

The area we lived in is now a game park, but in those days it was still tribal territory, and very wild. Our house, which my father built himself, was situated on a hill overlooking a wide, semi-dry riverbed. This house is now part of the game park lodge. We would sit on our verandah and watch the various animals come to the water holes and drink at dusk. There was almost no animal we did not see at one time or another. Elephants, lions, and other large game were common. Elephants wandered through our yard at night, quiet as mice. We would find their tracks in the morning. Lions brought their kill and ate it under a large baobab tree in our yard. We had dogs and cats as pets, and they were unharmed, as were us children. The animals here lived in a land of plenty, and were unaccustomed to humans. We were not seen as either threat or food, although there were some close calls for the unwary.

An elephant cow chased my father when he inadvertently stumbled upon her and her calf one day while hunting. Startled, the elephant trumpeted loudly and gave chase. My father had a gun bearer with him who was carrying a rifle, but the rifle did was not of a large enough caliber to kill the elephant. My father never hunted big game, and although he possessed a rifle big enough to kill elephants, he did not have it with him this day. Hoping to at least scare the cow, he turned to the gun bearer for his rifle, but there was no sign of the gun bearer. The gun bearer was a small dust cloud 50 yards down the track, still clutching the useless rifle. My father didn't waste any time either and passed the gun bearer who was running at approximately the pace of an Olympic contender. The elephant ignored the gun bearer and honed in on dad. He said later that he could feel the hot breath of the elephant on his back as he increased his pace. I think it is true to this day that my father has been the only human to ever outrun an elephant and live. After an eon, our house hove into view, and the elephant gave up. For years and years after this dad had terrible nightmares about this chase.

Despite the wildness, the lack of amenities and the remoteness of this area, my family always spoke of living here as one of the happiest times in our lives. Sitting on our verandah and watching elephants drinking water a few hundred yards away on a moonlit evening was an unrivaled experience. The southern sky night stars were so bright they looked like jewels set in a black velvet cloth and sometimes, by moonlight, one could easily read a book. We used to run outside during a full moon and see our shadows as bright as day. We would look up at the stars and wonder about many things. I instinctively knew we were not alone in this universe even at that age but I could not articulate these feelings. My parents during this time did see one UFO fly over our sky very slowly with multicolored lights blinking on and off.


TOWN LIFE AND MORE UFO'S

From approximately 1960 onwards we lived a normal life. We moved to the town we regularly shopped at: I attended day school like a normal child, and I hated every minute of it. It felt as if I was in a particularly unpleasant prison doing hard time, and I didn't fit in well. I had few friends, was regarded as rather dense by my teachers, and did not achieve either academically or in sports. My only friend was a little Greek girl who was of the same mind as I was regarding sports and academics-- we were soul mates. She loved Elvis Presley and I loved to read comics, and we would while away our afternoons listening to Elvis singles and reading "Nancy."

I spent my pre-teen years at this school, miraculously graduating into High School in 1963. I was placed into the class for the "dumb" kids-I did not do well on my IQ test. That was okay with me since my friends were in that class too. We lived up to our reputation. In ranking we were as low on the high school totem pole as anyone can get and still live. This did not bother me too much, since my after school hours were spent fishing with friends at a nearby lake, horse riding, running wild through the bush in front of our house and making terrible, hammy "movies" with my parent's old 8 mm camera. We were the producers, actors and complete cast. "Moses in the Bull Rushes" was one awful production, with my reluctant little brother cast as an Egyptian Soldier, looking miserable and uncomfortable in bath towels wrapped around his head and waist. My mother was the Film Crew and Wardrobe, which in our case, consisted of towels, bathrobes and handy sticks.

It was during this period that I saw perhaps my first real, live UFO's.

My father had in his possession a telescope that he used to survey land. He would train the telescope on the stars or moon at night and we would spend many hours looking at the different planets and constellations. I learned a lot about astronomy since our skies were ideally suited for night viewing. We lived on the outskirts of town and what little light our small town put out did not interfere in the viewing.

To minimize arguments about who was unfairly hogging the scope, we were all strictly timed and given exactly the same amount of time on the scope. One night, we were looking at the moon, and my turn finally came around. I put my eye to the eyepiece and saw a strange sight. Flying across the face of the moon, one behind another, were eight or nine perfectly round discs! They were all the same size exactly and looked like brown polka dots flying in formation. They appeared to be quite large to my eye but the rest of the family, who were looking at the moon with their naked eye, could not see them. I yelled, "Look! Look!" and my father quickly took a look to see what I was so excited about. He saw nothing. It had only taken a few seconds for them to cross the face of the moon, and then they were gone. I described exactly what I had seen but I don't really know if I was believed or not. To this day I have no idea what it was I saw.

The minute life began to get good something would happen. This time my mother decided that the school we were attending was not fulfilling our spiritual needs. She was right. The school had about as much in the way of spiritual discipline as an atheist biker gang.

We were going to be changing schools.


BLEAKHOUSE
(With apologies to Dickens)

The new boarding school was not new for me. I had attended it for one year when I was 7 years old after two years of correspondence school had left my mother a wreck. I had not fared well then and had pined to the point where the doctor demanded that I be removed. I was. It was a religious boarding school influenced by the same God and Jesus I grew up with and run with no regard for the welfare of the pupils. It had not changed. The food was execrable and the academic standards vastly inferior to the government day school I had attended. Bible Study was considered a subject of major importance, and history books were censored to ensure the party line was adhered to regarding church isms and beliefs. Our Principal's personal opinions always prevailed. For example, he was a fanatic and rabidly born again Christian-and a racist as well. If History or Science disagreed with him, he would not be slow to remove the offending facts from the books. He would have made a wonderful cult leader. All was not necessarily bad in my opinion-- our Principal also disagreed with the concept of organized and competitive sports. We were allowed to play games provided we were not in competition with each other! Our school was not known for its sporting events, or for anything else for that matter. When we ventured downtown and ran into pupils of other schools, they laughed at and ridiculed us. As a result we kept to ourselves and didn't mix with the "worldly" kids. My sense of alienation from the human race was profound. I had no idea how to socially interact with other teenagers, and my fear of all authority figures ran deep.

It was at this school that I began to question things. I was reading the literature of other religions, and even though my questioning was mild and concerned only dogmas which our church held sacred, my questioning bothered the authorities. When I applied to be baptized into the church at the next annual baptism, my request was refused. I was a heretic! This label pleased me and I began to read avidly every book I could get my hands on about religion. I had not yet been exposed to any New Age books, except one, which had been written by the Tibetan Lama, Lobsang Rampa. This book was about leaving the body. It really blew a large, gaping hole in everything I had ever been taught about the body and the soul.

I knew I had left my body before and this book was telling me it was possible to do it any time I wanted to! I was a child when it occurred the first time and did not think it strange. Furthermore, I was sick and when I thought about it, I figured that leaving my body had been a direct result of my illness, and there was nothing abnormal about doing such a thing while ill. When I was ten years old, I had recurring bouts of malaria that brought on high fevers. During one of these attacks I left my body. I floated out of bed, out of the door, and then down our hallway. I was hovering just below the ceiling and I remember being quite fascinated by the new perspective of a tile pattern in our floor when I heard my mother's car pull up in the driveway and hastily flew back to bed before she saw me out of it! When I told my mother I had been floating down the hallway after having been pushed out of the bed by our dog, she thought I was delirious. I was-very! I knew our dog was innocent, but there was not a shadow of a doubt in my mind that I had left my bed and floated down the hallway.

I left the boarding school as soon as my parents gave me permission-not a difficult task since it was expensive keeping us there-- and stayed at home. I became reacquainted with my old friend, "correspondence school." I had no trouble getting the equivalent of my GED, which was called an "O" Level, on my own. I studied hard and felt as if I was finally getting an education. I enjoyed being challenged and even though the academic standards were difficult due to a large gap in my education, I got good grades.


MARRIAGE

We were now living in a town basically built by my father. He built the bank, the hospital, stores and many other buildings of this fast growing community dominated mainly by agriculture. I quickly found employment here while my mother taught me how to type. I was 18 and as naïve as a child could be who had never been exposed to worldly things. I worked briefly washing hair in the town's only beauty salon and this was one of the best times of my life. I had few responsibilities and interacted with other people on a daily basis. My social life consisted of our local club, swimming, horse riding and movies. I dated a few guys but nothing special occurred.

I was applying for nursing school when I met my first husband. He was the brother of a mutual friend from South Africa, on a visit. In less than a year we were engaged and by age 19 I was married. I won't go into how much of a disaster this marriage was, just the fact that it was. That became apparent almost immediately but I was way too proud to admit to my parents that anything was wrong and hung in there for eight years.

During our brief stay in my town before my husband and I moved to South Africa, I did see a UFO, or at least the light emanating from it. One night, I was standing at my kitchen sink washing dishes. There was a window behind the sink that overlooked the parking area behind our apartment building. Without warning, the parking area outside lit up like daylight. It was such a bright bluish-white light that I thought someone must be arc welding in the area. It seemed to be a little unsteady, as if someone was swinging a lamp to and fro. Shadows bobbed up and down. I was mildly curious but didn't leave my duties in the kitchen to walk outside. Just as suddenly, it was gone--as if a light switch had been turned off. The next day the town people were buzzing excitedly about the UFO that had been hanging directly overhead. Everyone had seen it, except me! I was crushed. They said it had been a large, round object emitting the brightest light, like a beam. That I had seen!


A DREAM

We moved to South Africa and I got a job working as a secretary in the administrative offices of a large clothing store. It was here that I met and worked with a woman who became a very close friend of mine for many years. Jenny* and I were on the same wavelength. We looked alike, thought alike and were the same age. We would finish each other's sentences, and we always seemed to know what the other one was thinking. We commented on our "psychic connection" a lot but mostly we regarded it as a joke.

One night, I had a very vivid dream. I was hovering about ceiling height in a house witnessing a scene between a man and a woman who were middle aged-- strangers to me. I could see them quite clearly. They were screaming at each other, then the man hit the woman and stormed out of the house. The woman was sobbing and got on the telephone. I knew she was speaking with Jenny, since I could see Jenny on one side, like a split screen on television, trying to calm her down. Then another girl walked into the house. This girl was younger than Jenny and she had long blonde hair. I did not know who this girl was.

Then I awoke, shaken and trembling. The dream had been so real! I noticed the time. It was around 3 a.m. I couldn't get back to sleep. I finally got a quick nap in before I had to get up for work at 6 a.m. When I got to the office, I said to Jenny as I walked in that I had had a terrible night. I was about to tell her about my strange dream since it involved her, when she interrupted me and said she had had a very bad night too, and had not slept at all. She looked about as bad as I did. She told me that her mother had called her, hysterical, during the night, and that she had to go over to her parent's house. I asked her what time this happened, and she said around 2:00 a.m. This time I interrupted her and began to describe the sequence of events…that her father had hit her mother after an argument, and then her sister had walked in. I described the physical appearance of her sister, mother and father. Jenny sat open-mouthed during this account. Everything had happened exactly as I saw it. Jenny's mother divorced her father shortly after this.

*Not her real name.


MY SECOND OBE

My second out of body experience was at the age of approximately 20 and left me with no doubt that something strange was going on that had no rational explanation.

I was on vacation with my husband and another couple at a beach house. The two men were sharing a bedroom since they intended doing a lot of fishing which involved early rising, and my husband's friend's wife and I were planning on sleeping in, so we shared a room. The room had twin beds against opposite walls and my bed was directly opposite the hallway. We had kept the hall light on and our bedroom door wide open since my roommate was the nervous sort. The hallway light shone into the room slanting across the wall next to my bed.

I had fallen asleep rather quickly. For some unknown reason I awoke and opened my eyes. I felt quite normal, and there was no buzzing or feelings of paralysis. Yet when I opened my eyes, something was definitely not quite right. The ceiling was only inches from my face. At
First, I was not alarmed. I could feel myself rocking gently in an up and down motion, sort of as if I was bobbing on water. I felt incredibly light and airy, but warm and comfortable-like soaking in a hot tub. It was very pleasant. I don't really remember what I was thinking at the time, but I do remember that at some point I began to think "I must get back to my body." As soon as I thought that, I began to descend very slowly.

Looking to my right where the light hit the wall next to my bed, I saw a sight I will never forget: millions of diamond pointed lights glittered in a rainbow hued array. The Crown Jewels in the Tower of London was dullness itself compared to this light show. It was as if I could see each photon of light individually as it hit the wall. It was so fascinating I forgot that I was descending. It was difficult to tear my eyes away from this sight. It was then I became aware that I was not alone.

I sensed a presence next to me, on my left. I turned my head and felt the most awful fear I have ever had. I couldn't see anything, only a dark shape next to the bed. I decided to quit fooling around and get back into my body--pronto! I descended quickly and felt my astral body hit softly against my physical. As it did so, I distinctly felt two hands and two feet pushing against my astral "back," propelling me out of my own body. I sank back down, and again I was pushed out. I don't remember how many times this happened. I wanted to cry but I was too afraid and all I could think of was trying to get back. I would sink into my body again and again, feeling the up and down breathing motion of my chest against my back, and then the hands and feet would be there, pushing me out.

Finally, the pushing stopped and I began to sink into my body. If I had thought the pushing was bad, the return to the body was worse- it felt like a cold, dead thing. The best way I can describe it is leaden-- heavy, numb and icy cold. It was as if I had just arisen out of a warm, comfortable bed on a frosty morning and decided to put on a suit of wet clothing with lead weights hanging from the arms and legs. My whole body had this dead numbness that slowly began to regain feelings of life in a pins and needles sensation. My body felt like someone else's body!

It took several minutes for me to get back to normal and regain my composure. Even then, I sensed a strange presence next to the bed. I was still frightened. I never moved the whole night, and neither did I sleep. My friend was already awake in the other bed, and when I told her of my experience, she commented that she had thought she saw someone standing next to my bed.


THE SEARCH

For many years after this experience I was too afraid to attempt any conscious form of projection. The 70's was truly the "fear" decade for me. "Jaws" had me too afraid to go into the water and "The Exorcist" left me terrified of the paranormal. Yet there was still a part of me
that was intensely curious about the so-called unexplained.

I started reading more of the books of the walk-in Tibetan Lama, Lobsang Rampa. This led to more books, especially those put out by the Rosicrucians, and some Seth books by Jane Roberts. I once attended a service at the Spiritualist Church, and received a message from my deceased grandfather. I was impressed, since they did not know him or me and I had not told anyone I was going. The message related to something no one could have possibly known about. I did not return. I don't really know why. Perhaps it was because although they had "messages," they did not seem to have any answers.

By this time my first marriage had been taken off life support and I was dating my second husband-to-be. He was not tuned in to my spiritual quest and had absolutely no interest in the paranormal. That was fine with me. We drank a lot and partied almost non-stop, and my life was at last becoming the "fun" that I thought it was supposed to be. It was almost impossible to seriously get involved with anything spiritual except in a very shallow way.

My favorite party trick was to read people's palms and tea leaves- with a great deal of success. This surprised me more than it surprised anyone else. I never thought of myself as having any skills in that area and I would have laughed if anyone referred to me as "psychic" or even sensitive. I did it for laughs and couldn't understand why people wouldn't leave me alone. Eventually I had to stop doing it. My friends were taking my "predictions" way too seriously.

In the meanwhile, I began having the "nightmares" again. Instead of fighting them, I decided to relax and see what happened. As soon as the buzzing started, I would imagine that I was floating, and sure enough, I would float right up and out of my body! With this type of astral projection there were problems. They were never as clear or lucid as those I had experienced spontaneously without the buzzing and paralysis. When I left my body through my own conscious efforts I was nearly always blind. I would fumble my way around and then my vision would clear and I would see a scene that did not exist in my world! It would nearly always be a different time of day. If I had an OBE during the night, the time in my astral world would be daylight. In spring, I would be in an autumn scene. I never recognized anything that looked even remotely familiar. I rarely remembered returning to my body. These experiences would turn into dreams and I would wake up in the normal manner.

All my conscious projections now started with the buzzing and paralysis. Sometimes my feet would fly up first, leaving the rest of me stuck to my own body like an insect sticking to flypaper. Usually I would manage to unstick the rest of my astral self by flailing the arms until I separated, and very ungracefully, I would roll over onto the floor, feeling my way blindly around the room. If any of my guides were watching at this stage, I am sure they were rolling around too-with laughter! My exits were seldom smooth. I was like a larvae struggling to get out of a tight fitting cocoon. Of course I thought I was the only one who had these kind of problems and I never spoke about them to anyone. Some projections I managed to enjoy. They were the one's that allowed me to soar over treetops and houses in a dimly lit astral plane. I got a charge from the trees and would swoop through them like a bird. Sometimes I would rise above the clouds, and then get scared, and back down I would go. I liked to pass through seemingly solid objects, like the bedroom walls and windows. As I passed through objects I would feel a slight tingling and sometimes even a small resistance, but no solid object could stand in my way if I wanted to go through it. Sometimes I would stand at an upstairs window and look out before leaping through it like Wonder Woman and think "Am I really projecting? What if this is reality?" I would fall to my death!

FIRST VISITATION

In 1977 I had my first visitation from unknown entities. To this day, I have no idea who they were or what they wanted.

My bed was right next to a rather large window. I woke up one night to find myself floating through the window-actually, returning-through the window back to my bed. Since the window was closed, this had to be my astral body! I had three companions with me. They remained just inside the window while I stood on my bed and spoke to them. They were so
beautiful that I did not want them to leave. I begged and pleaded with them to stay, saying that if there was anything I could do for them, I would do it. Did they want food? I would get it for them. They just smiled- and left. I was heartbroken.

I don't remember returning to my body. I awoke the next morning and remembered this extraordinarily vivid "dream." I still felt the heartbreak and longing to see these three people again. They were rather slight in build, blonde and very Nordic in looks. Their eyes were a vivid blue, and they wore costumes, which looked like something the ancient Greeks might have worn, even to the helmets on their heads.


THE "ME" DECADE

The 1980's began as a roller-coaster ride, going from a dizzy beginning to a very low dip indeed. My second marriage had brought me to the state of Virginia, U.S.A. I was 30 years old and determined to get every ounce out of life that I could before hitting 40. The parties and drinking were almost non-stop and I was also attending a community college taking art classes. For once in my life I thought I was really happy. The elusive butterfly was finally in my grasp, and I wasn't going to let go of it for a second. I studied just hard enough so that it didn't interfere with my drinking and I got excellent grades as well. "Who could ask for more?" I thought.

By the mid-eighties I had my degree in art and life was opening up to even more adventures. My husband and I were sent overseas to Bombay, India. This was very exciting to me since I had always wanted to travel and see other countries. The reality turned out to be a little different than the fantasy. I had always thought of India as the seat of spirituality, and I envisioned spiritual quests and opportunities for enlightenment. Even though I enjoyed the travel and lifestyle in Bombay, my body had other plans for me.

Circumstances conspired with ego and genetics, and my two years in India became an endless round of parties with other ex-pat's. My drinking spiraled into an out-of-control obsession that took precedence over everything else in my life. It was so easy to do this-no one noticed anything was amiss, including myself. I did not stand out in this environment as dysfunctional. I did have some strange experiences there, but not the sort I had hoped for. The drinking was lowering my vibrations.

The building I lived in had a resident ghost. The servants swore that he roamed the building looking for something to drink. He had been an alcoholic cook while employed there, and had either fallen or been thrown off the roof of the building to his death. My neighbors had seen him and they were not given to flights of fancy.

One afternoon, I lay down on my living room sofa for an afternoon nap. I had not been drinking this day. I dozed off, and then awoke to the familiar buzzing and paralysis. I'd experienced quite a bit of this in Bombay, and this seemed no different at first. I tried to shake it off-I didn't really want to project and just wanted to go back to sleep. All of a sudden, I felt something jump on top of me. I had 2 cats at the time and thought it was one of them. I tried to brush them off, but of course, I couldn't move! Then I felt the weight. Whatever it was, it was heavy, and sitting on my chest. Then it grabbed my throat and began to choke me! I tried to scream, but I couldn't get a sound out. My breath was coming out in gasps, and I felt as if I couldn't get any air. I tried to open my eyes, and could just barely open them enough to make out a small brown man sitting on my chest. As soon as I opened my eyes, I felt I could move again, and the man flew off my chest. I sat up gasping and sweating. Everything looked normal, and my Nepalese maid walked into the room from the kitchen. I asked her if she had seen anything, and she said that she had not. When I told her what had just happened, she said the identical thing had happened to her not too long ago.

One night, I had been drinking. I was sitting alone as was becoming my preference, and just ruminating on nothing in particular, perhaps listening to a bit of music. I seemed to go into a bit of a trance, but at any rate, I nodded off. I was jerked out of my half asleep state by a voice coming out of my own mouth! The voice was very deep, and male, and growled, "Hello, Lynn!" I was almost scared sober! I jumped up and my heart was beating wildly. Nothing else happened after this, but it was then that it began to dawn on me that perhaps drinking could be dangerous.


VALIUMS AND GOD

After 2 years in Bombay, we were transferred to Jakarta, Indonesia. Life continued for me in much the same way as before. This time I had given up all pretense of seeking out spiritual things. I lived for the moment when I could get home and have a drink. I knew now that something was terribly wrong with me, but I couldn't stop it. The alcohol had begun to alter my personality, and my marriage was in trouble. My only fantasy now was to live on a desert island with a lifetime supply of booze. The way things were looking, that would have been about a gallon jug of Chablis. I came down with malaria, again, and my doctor was concerned. So much for the theory that alcohol keeps away malaria!

Finally, the miracle happened. My husband turned me in to "higher authorities," of the 3D kind, and they sent someone especially over from the U.S. just to talk to me. The day it happened, I was in bed recovering from a real whopper of a hangover. I could barely get my eyes open enough to answer the phone when it rang, but I did. This someone told me to get my butt downtown pronto. I did. That night I was on a plane to Washington, D.C. and as soon as the plane landed, I was driven to a rehabilitation hospital.

If that doesn't sound too bad so far, then you have not been through the humiliation of exposure and forced to take a good, hard look at your life. Ask Bill Clinton. I felt lower than an amoebae. I felt like a rat caught in a trap. I so badly wanted to stop drinking, but there was a part of me that saw complete annihilation for itself if I stopped drinking. This is the part that took it hard. I was sober when I arrived at the hospital but they sedated me anyway, and put me in the detox ward with all the other drunks. I was incensed. How dare they! I walked in on my own, didn't I? Blah blah blah, and blah! They gave me a Valium and left me. It was the most desolate I have ever felt, and I lay down on the bed and cried, and asked God to please help me. It was either the Valium, or God, or both, but a sense of peace came to me and from that night on my life changed.


MY WINGS ARE CLIPPED

My recovery began in the 90's-the decade of change. It was too late for my marriage. The damage had been done and there was no hope of repair. I had damaged my own personality so much that I found it difficult to alter my behavior very dramatically. Although I was sober, I still had issues I had never dealt with and the baggage had accumulated. I felt as if I had awoken from a long sleep and was numb from the neck up. Emotions came slowly to me, and feelings of happiness or sadness were rare. I was mostly indifferent. I had to learn how to love again. I had to learn about a lot of things I had buried for the past 20 years under a layer of alcohol and denial.

The worst part about my recovery was that I had no more out of body experiences! I had not had any for a while, but I thought they would return once I stopped drinking. They did not. I was like a bird that lost its wings. I was the snake that had to crawl on its belly.

I concentrated on getting my self-respect back and grounding myself back into this reality in a functional way. This took several years. I had a job that took all my time and energy and I began to burn out. The end of the marriage arrived at nearly the same time as my job burnout and my mother was dying of cancer. I had to fly home. I figured that if I got through that year without a drink, I could handle anything. My mother died after a 2-week bed vigil, and I never drank. I knew then that I was going to make it and that God was still on my side. I no longer felt vulnerable and weak. I felt strong and I knew that if I put my mind to it, there was nothing I could not do. I left my husband, quit my job, found a new man in my life and did what I always wanted to do: be an artist. From the moment I made those decisions life began to get better. I felt the same peace I had experienced that night in the detox ward of the hospital. There were still problems, but my attitude toward them was changing.

Money was not the least of the problems. Quitting a paying job to work full time at being an artist is a risky financial move. At that point, I didn't care. I wanted to do it and only an ultimatum from my now third husband could stop me. Fortunately, he was and is totally supportive, and the strange thing is, we are better off financially now even though my art is not responsible for that condition. The universe was showing me that living in lack will bring lack. I was now reading all the books I could get my hands on about spirituality. I was no longer bemoaning the fact I couldn't project. I didn't really care! I was happy, I had everything I needed, and more and that is what mattered. My life became meaningful.


A CHRISTMAS CAROL
(With apologies to Dickens -- again)

Then it happened --but not the buzzing or the paralysis-which has never returned!

It was on January 6th, 1997. I awoke for no apparent reason and looked at the clock in front of my bed. It was 3:30 a.m. and I felt quite wide-awake, although very relaxed. I could see the room faintly illuminated around me by the light of a street lamp outside. Everything looked normal. However, I could see extending from my navel to the ceiling, across to the window, and through it, a silvery blue glowing light cord about the thickness of my finger. It waved and undulated and as I passed my hand through it I felt a tingling sensation in the region of my navel. I knew then I was either having an out of body experience, and must have been suspended merely inches above my physical body, or I was in trance in my body. I wondered where the cord went to, if I was "here" and not on the other end! In fact, there were two cords.

I became aware I was not alone in the room. Over by the window, a few feet from my bed stood a large black shape. It looked like Mr. T, only larger and more frightening. This shape rushed towards me in a flash of movement. At first, I felt overwhelming terror, but then, in an instant, I realized (from all the reading I had been doing) that this apparition could not hurt me. As that thought came to me, it stopped abruptly, inches from my face! It had an ugly face that looked quite disgusted, and it communicated to me (without words) that it seemed to be wasting its time, and disappeared. Then I heard another voice say: "Good. Confront your fears." It was not my own voice. I had an invisible observer.

Then I felt hands reach for mine and I looked up. I saw another creature, exactly like those depicted in UFO encounters, termed "grays". It was quite tall (about 6 feet), with grayish white skin, large black wrap around eyes, and it was extremely thin. It wore a light one-piece suit with what looked like black swimming trunk briefs. Its fingers were long and it had only four. Its chin was pointed, two holes for a nose, and a slit mouth. I didn't find it frightening in the least. (Not after Mr. T!) My first reaction was strange, since I said (telepathically) "Oh, its you again!" I didn't feel too pleased seeing it, and felt as if I knew it personally. It acknowledged that it was indeed who I thought it was. None of this conversation was in words. I asked it if I could remember everything this time and it said "no", quite emphatically and it left. I think I asked it what its name was, and it told me, but I don't remember what it was. This Gray, although I wasn't very pleased to see it, did not seem negative and was in fact quite polite, unlike my own reaction. It seemed that it just wanted to show itself to me for some reason. Afterwards I felt some shame about my remark to it.

I became aware of another presence! This was the ghost of Christmas future and this ghost really inspired a lot of fear in me. Actually I could not see it well-- I could only sense it as a terrifying, dark and hooded presence. I tried to laugh, but my laugh quickly died as it began to move towards the bed from the opposite end of the room. I then said, using telepathy, "I am not afraid" and I tried to mean it. Although I was very afraid indeed, this worked! It stopped in its tracks, and what it said to me was this exactly: "I can't go back and report that I failed to scare the shit out of you!" It sounded quite pathetic, and I began to feel pity for it. I said to it "go back and say you did scare me." I didn't really care one way or the other. I sensed something had changed in its demeanor. It now stood right next to my bed but I still couldn't see it. I reached out and felt a lot of material, as if it was wearing a long dress of some sort. It rustled a lot. Then it began to speak in a strange accent, in the voice of a woman. I could hear her as if she were a real person standing next to me, speaking verbally. This did not seem telepathic although it probably was. I forget what she said, but I then asked her what her name was. She answered, "Qorrik". I asked her to spell it and she spelled it that way, but it was pronounced "Corrick". I asked her what her accent was, and she said "Why, Irish of course!" as if anyone in their right mind would know that. She told me she had lived a long, long time ago somewhere in Ireland (I had a telepathic vision here of a very rocky coastline with cliffs, sort of barren looking with heavy surf pounding at its base.) I asked her if she could tell me a date, time or year to get a fix on when she lived. She was terribly vague and didn't seem to know, but it was either in the 1800's or 800's. I couldn't get it right since this part was also telepathic and a little muddled. She seemed very depressed, and was still sad about something that had happened to her then. Her husband had taken another wife, she said. I had a feeling she had died shortly after, either naturally or unnaturally due to this. Then she just slowly faded away, and I looked at the clock, which said 4 a.m. I wrote all this down immediately, so I wouldn't forget any of it. I even drew a picture of Mr. Gray! I would never have remembered a name like Qorrik either! I wondered if there had ever been such a name.

My feeling about this experience was that it seemed to be a test of some sort. Those scary apparitions had no intention of harming me. The fact that I had an observer who commented when I refused to be afraid showed me that these apparitions were internalized fears or thought forms. I was a little more puzzled about the Qorrik character, and Mr. Gray. Neither one of them seemed to have a purpose although I felt Mr. Gray had appeared for a reason. Many months later, I had an angel reading done by a psychic lady and I asked her about this experience. She confirmed that it had been a test, and that Qorrik was a bleed through from a past incarnation of mine that was not supposed to happen. She told me that Qorrik had once been my daughter.

Approximately 6 months later, I had another experience.

THE WHAT!!!

I had been reading in a book a section about a very advanced race of beings called "Arcturians." They are not physical as we are, but they are eager to help us. However, they (like Star Trek) have a "Prime Directive" and will not offer help unless it is specifically asked for. They will never interfere with free will, for example, and they are not responsible for the abductions and would never consider abducting anyone. I was quite impressed by this and thought I would welcome some help from the Arcturians. I had been having some health problems that seemed to take up a lot of my energy and time trying to combat. I also felt that I want to help other people in certain areas, but felt very inadequate and unsure of myself in this respect. I did not want to ask for help for mere ego gratification. I don't believe that "contact" with higher beings serves any purpose if used for ego gratification.

While I was reading the book and thinking that I was definitely going to ask for help, I came to the end of the chapter and felt very sleepy. It was past 1 a.m. (my normal bedtime) so I turned out the lights and lay in bed as I normally do and began to speak to these Arcturians. I felt pretty silly since I had my doubts as to their existence, but I did it anyway. I told them why I needed their help. I had barely finished, when I became very relaxed and in the stage halfway between awake and asleep, although more awake and quite conscious. I smelled a very strong, sweet aroma, which is hard to describe. It was not "perfumy" but more like vanilla mixed with a flowery or fruity scent. I did not have anything in the room that smelled like that, and I have not smelled it since. I took deep breaths of this scent. Then it went away, and I sent a thought message that I knew "they" were here and I had received their message. The scent immediately came back, as strong as before. It felt as if it was wafting towards my nose on a little breeze of its own.

Then I had a spontaneous out of body experience. My legs and arms first lifted up, slightly above my physical body. Then I felt a slight jerk in the area of my forehead, as if my astral body was being released from there, and I began to float upwards. I couldn't really see anything. Everything was dark, darker than the actual room that was lit from the hall light. I seemed to float off somewhere at a high speed. When I could "see" again, I was back in my bedroom, in bed. The whole experience seemed to last less than a minute. Then I felt a hand massaging the back of my head, just above the nape of the neck. Now I am not sure about the sequences of any of these events, or how long they lasted. Time seemed to be different and nothing was really linear. A lot of it was a series of impressions, some more understandable and others not, but the hand massaging my head felt as real as if it were a physical hand. I could even see the arm it belonged to. The arm was a male arm, and I could see the individual hairs on it, which were dark. The hand continued to massage my head in different spots, and it felt good, but in certain areas, sort of tingly, as if some kind of energy was penetrating my skull. I remember a buzzing noise, but not sure of when it occurred. Finally, the hand came around to my face, and with a long forefinger, pressed, very firmly, on the inner spot in the corner of my right eye (tear duct opening). I looked at
the hand and it was a long, strong hand with very long fingers. It could have been any human hand, except it looked larger and longer than any I have seen. I could even see the lines on the palm.

Then I saw the being's face. He was of course, very tall. He looked middle aged, with a strong featured face, a tanned or darkish complexion, short dark hair which was slightly wavy, black, heavy eyebrows, and dark eyes. His face shape was long and his expression was benevolent, intelligent, compassionate and wise, with a touch of humor.

At some point, whether at this time or not (since time had no meaning) there had been some communication with other beings like himself. I could hear him speaking to them quite clearly although I don't remember any of the content. At some point I had the impression of a computer screen with another being sitting in front of it. I was standing behind this being, watching, but I think that was later. During the communication, I could "hear" instructions being given, which made no sense to me whatsoever. I don't even remember them. I only remember one part very clearly. It came near the end of the process. "My" being intoned, in a voice which had a deep timber to it, this:

"Shields to the fields! Shields to the fields!"

This was repeated perhaps three or four times. While saying it, he seemed to be adjusting something invisible to me, around me. I had an idea that he was putting some kind of protection around my etheric field.

It was then that I thought of a friend of mine who had been having out of body experiences as well. I had been concerned about him coming into contact with elemental beings who were interfering in his OBE's, but which had been merely a nuisance for him up to this point.
I didn't know at that time enough to be of any help to him. I was thinking about this while this was going on and wondering if the Arcturians could help my friend.

As I thought this, the being said to me that he was receiving a communication and
wanted to know from me what it was, something about ________? Here he gave a symbol in place of my friend's name that translated into his last name. He had not received it clearly since he had been busy with other things. I told him about my friend's recent OBE problems, and his face became quite grave and concerned by this "interference" he was having. I stated
that I really did not know what to do regarding my friend. His answer stunned me: "Kill him!" he said, in an authoritative tone of voice. Then I saw the twinkle in his eye and a smile. We both laughed, and I told my friend about this later. He also appreciated the joke and mentioned that he thought this guy had a "dicey sense of humor!"

At the time when I was standing in front of the computer screen, I could see around me a large room with wall to ceiling computer screens, many of them. I was standing directly behind a seated figure at a computer console. I couldn't see this being clearly, but it seemed to be small and bald headed. This being told me to look at the screen in front of it and to think something. I thought out a message of thanks to these beings, and as I thought the words, they appeared on the screen exactly as I thought them! I remember the screen quite clearly, it was a deep blue background and the writing appeared as yellowish green.

I then awoke, and looked at the time. It was just before 3 a.m. I could hardly believe it! To me, it felt as if only a little time had passed, half an hour at the most! I felt like I hadn't actually even been asleep during this time. Yet I felt refreshed and happy. A great sense of peace
was around me, and there was no tiredness at all. I wrote down as much as I could before falling asleep. This time, I slept a normal sleep, and awoke at 9:30 a.m. with a gentle, very polite voice saying "Wake up, please, there is a problem!" I don't know what the problem was. Everything looked normal, but I got up anyway.


THE "IMPLANT"

On May 4th, 1998 I went to sleep determined to remember more of my dreams and out of body experiences. I felt I had been losing a lot by not being able to remember. Often, I would awake with a vague memory of something important having taken place during the night, and an image would tantalizingly appear, and then it would be gone-like a movement out of the corner of the eye-there one second and gone the next. It was frustrating! I began to use affirmations.
I had immediate results.

I fell asleep, and I was in a very strange place of darkness--walls and tunnels--going through them. The next thing I experienced I was lying on my right side on a table and a strange creature was standing over me. I could see the creature's arm: it was small, thin and white, almost
tube-like. I reached out my hand and touched it. The texture was not like our flesh, but sort of cold and spongy and rather icky to the touch. The creature seemed to recoil at first when I touched it, but continued working on whatever it was doing to me. I had no bodily sensations, but
felt as if it was doing something to my back. Then it called for someone to bring something and I could tell by her voice that this being behind me was a female. I turned my head around and saw a very dark skinned young man who looked African glide towards us, carrying something in his hands. I could see right through this young man. He was completely transparent! Not only was he transparent, but he had the most beautiful face. He was very slightly built, and his beauty was even more notable than his transparency. I couldn't see what he was carrying in his hands, but I felt very apprehensive and had a bad feeling about it. Sort of like being in the doctor's office and seeing him come towards you with a large needle!

She told him to put whatever it was he was carrying, in "right here," and indicated a spot in my lower back area to the right side. I asked if it would hurt, and they didn't answer me. I didn't feel anything, not physically, only a sensation that something was inserted. There was no pain. Then they were finished and were it seemed they were leaving. I turned around and could see the lady. She was small, thin and grayish white, with large, round blue eyes. She had blonde curly hair. I called out to her to tell me her name. She smiled at me, and said it was "Bebbie" or something like that. She had a high pitched, fluting voice, like a little girl. I then asked her to
tell me who the man was in my dream of last year (see The What!!!.) I had barely got the words out, and she seemed to know- immediately responding: "Oh, that was Gadjul! We call him 'Djul,' for short-- very nice man" I think it was Gadjul (pronounced Gah-jool)...it could have been "Djagul," (Pronounced Jhuh-gool) but the first sounds more correct as I remember it. She gave a tinselly little laugh, and they both disappeared and I woke up immediately. It was 2:45 a.m. I had fallen asleep around 1:15 a.m.


I fell asleep again around 3:30 and had the following very vivid and lucid dream:

I was somewhere in Washington State. I knew I was dreaming and that I had been in this location before in another dream. I was with a group of people whom I seemed to know. We were at this restaurant on top of this hill overlooking a beautiful little lake with mountains in the background. The place was very familiar to me and I knew I had been there before in a dream and eaten at the restaurant. I even pointed out the place where I had sat, in a bay window overlooking the lake. I mentioned that the last time I was there, in October, they had a lot more going on. There had been a carousel, and an arbor patio with chairs and tables set out where lots of people had been sitting. Now it looked a little deserted. There were people there, however, walking up the stairs alongside the restaurant. We didn't go in. My companions told me we needed to leave. I didn't really want to leave. I noticed something new that had not been there before-- attached to the restaurant-- a large white structure like a temple. My companions told me it was the headquarters of the SOUL Society. I became a little anxious. I wondered if this was some kind of cult place. I could see inside an open window into one of the front rooms and saw an Indian woman in a sari lying on a bed. She seemed to be in labor. They pulled me past quickly, and we went around the back. There were entrances to what seemed to be offices, and I could see "SOUL Administrative" written on a plaque on a door. I wanted to go in, but I was a little nervous, and was pulled away by my companions. We had to leave.

I then woke up. These two experiences I would classify as dreams because I don't remember leaving my body in either case. They were both very vivid and more in keeping with out of body experiences however, and in both cases I knew I was experiencing a different reality. Throughout the second dream I was fully aware that I was dreaming. I knew that because I had had that dream before and seen my companions before. I placed the location of the second dream in Washington State, since there were mountains that looked similar to the Cascades surrounding the location. It could have been anywhere and could have just as easily been mistaken for Switzerland.


WHAT IS ALL THIS ABOUT?

That is the 60 million-dollar question. When the most recent experiences happened to me I was a little surprised even though I had requested some of them. I didn't really believe they were actually going to happen, and when they did, I couldn't for the life of me figure out what had been taking place. It was and still is a mystery. My Angel Reader told me that the "Arcturians" were in fact not Arcturians as I had thought, but rather my soul family from Sirius. She said I came from a long lineage of beings from Sirius and the Great White Brotherhood. For those of you who are not familiar with the Great White Brotherhood, they are not sheet-clad racists who burn crosses, but rather a combination of Ascended Masters and other illustrious beings from other dimensions who are here to help those of us in the third dimension into the fourth. Although that information was all very interesting to me, I am not sure if that's the truth or not. I still keep an open mind. I continue to read and investigate. My search is not over and I doubt that it will ever be. Life continues to get ever more interesting, and it is possible that one day I will be able to add to these pages some more experiences.