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Christie's Past Life

Don Showen, WholeBrain Res. Inst. offered a transcribed regression:

(Indented italic sentences are from Don, the rest from Christie)

One parent was agnostic and the other was Christian and they both believed that I had to find my own religion. I am kind of a Universalist Unitarian background because that is where they taught about all the different religions. I learned about just about all of them.

So what is your basic idealism.
I don't really believe in a God, I believe in a universe of beings more powerful then we are, much more advanced, us being much less advanced. I don't really believe that we are under surveillance so much that there are a lot of things that control our lives.
That is a good way of putting it, universal beings. You do believe in reincarnation now?
Yes, definitely.
Is there anything that you remember in a past lifetime.
Yes, quite a bit. When I was 9 years old, of course I did not associate with it at all, I was in summer camp for the first year and I picked up a bow and arrow and I shot it and I shot 6 bulls eyes in a row and that night I had the first dream and I have had these dreams consistently. They used to be very mundane, a lot of drudgery, out in the barn taking care of horses, pitching up teams, a lot of back and forth across the country, wagon train type stuff.

When I was 13 and I picked up a rifle in a shooting gallery and won a transistors radio and that is when I got scared. That is when I got scared and I threw it away and the dreams came more frequently after that and it was 10 years before I was ready to believe in it.

So how do you explain it? And you say there were six bulls eyes?
Yeah. It feels like natural talent there. When you see a three year old and plays Mozart on the piano and everybody says, Oh, well, that's easily explained, it is natural talent. Like that is an easier explanation, and the person was a virtuoso in a past lifetime and they remember how to play.

I feel a lot lately, in the last year or so, I have been going into it a lot, before I go to sleep. My mind is most open, most receptive and I remembered quite a bit of little details. Nothing about my death, which is strange. I can't remember anything about that.

OK. That is one of the reason that many people have amnesia is because of the way the body died. It is so violent. It is like looking back and now you have to go through that. Has there been anything that you want to go after now, in particular? Do you just want to go into a past life?
I would like to try and go back to that one which would be like the western states in the 1800's. I assume, from what I have read and from what has jived, and the westward migration. I feel I was married to someone who worked on it, or whatever, a wagon train. I believe I have made the trip several separate times.
Well, I am going to ask you a question and I would like the first answer that comes to mind. What year did that body die?
I got an 18 and then a 6, that is all I got.
OK. What did you start shaking your head No for?
Because for some reason I expected it to pop into my mind, I think, and not having it come to me immediately was a surprise to me.
What I would like you to do is imagine sort of a white screen in the front of your forehead. And I want to ask you that question again. What year was it that the body died?
What month was that?
What day was it?
Of the week?
Day of the month.
Was it a male or female body?
How old was the body when it died?
Young, 30s.
What was his first name.
The last name?
Grant. Jessica Grant Colby
How did it die?
I started outside the house and crawled through the barn, it hit me in the face, the forehead. Sort of quick. I am not sorry.
You are not sorry?
I am not sorry.
What is your attention on now?
Who is Jeremy?
He is my husband. He is dead. Now.
What else has happened there?
The man who killed him has left, gone. I thought they killed me. I have a wound. But the rattlesnake bite will kill me first.
What else is happening?
I can hear the horses. They are spooked cause of the rattler. I can hear the rattler.
Keep looking at the rattler. What do you feel like?
When he struck, I didn't feel it strike. I just closed my eyes and it struck. Just above the bridge of my nose.
What else is happening now?
I can't see, at all. Must have blinded me, the rattler. I can see Jeremy with my eyes closed.
His he there with you?
No, he is dead. Damn Mexicans killed him.
Get in touch with that feeling.
Jeremy always said that if we came out here if the Apaches didn't get us the Mexicans would, but we didn't care, I wanted to move out here. We were never very scared of dying anyway. Jeremy, I remember the first time I met him ..... he is engaged to somebody else.
What is your attention on now?
Now I want you to go back to the point just before you got bit by the rattler. What are you doing there?
I have just crawled into the barn.
How come you are crawling in that barn?
I'm shot. They shot me.
Where did they shoot you?
In the hip, right hip, and they thought they were shooting me in the stomach when they left because they knew they'll get there's though. My grandfather's people will get them. You will hear the death of a thousand screams if my grandfather gets them.
Who is your grandfather's people?
Cheyenne, Iron Hand, it's my grandfather, my mother's father. He married a white woman. She died before I was born, my grandmother, but she had my mother first. My mother left the reservation. My father was the doctor in Kentucky. My mother died before I knew her. I don't know how old.

He will get them. I think they killed me. Iron Hand will think they killed me. The Arapaho will take the news to the Shoshone. The Shoshone will take the news. They will know. The Shoshone will ..... (she did not end sentence).

When my mother was dead there was no one to take care of me. In the summer there was no school and two men came, Cheyenne took me to my grandfather, four days and four nights. In my grandfather's village, everything was different. I was different. My name was different. My name was Child of the Seven Tribes because I was born on a treaty day and I was good medicine.

What's that feeling there?
When my father died, I am so confused. I sold the house and the ranch and I took the money and I went to my grandfather, but I couldn't stay. I was 16 and I was marrying age and they kept coming to buy me, so my grandfather said I should seek one of my own kind. He sat there and told me to go West, that I would always be protected. Find a man who was strong because I was more brave than woman. He said if I found a weak man...
What happened there?
I don't know. I lost it.
So if you found a weak man, what happened after that?
He sent me after that to live my dream. He said I should look in the West. He said I should look in California for a strong man. The weak white men were moving East and all the strong white men went to Californ ia. I want to go myself. I can take care of myself. I can ride and shoot as good as any man and I can take care of myself. But I have to learn, re-learn ways of white people. I have been here a year. My words are slilty. I don't know if there is any sense to take me back to Louisville. It's a long, long way.
OK. How are you doing?
Something about the train.
Did you go back on the train?
No, to the train. Go West. I bought the wagon and the things on the list - the flour, grease.
What happened after that?
I am on a train. 460 people all going to California. Jeremy. I met Jeremy on the first day, but he went out scouting and I kept looking out for him, but he was engaged to a woman on the train. This was to be his last trip. They plan to go to San Francisco to be married, but it is a long way to San Francisco.
What is happening there?
A feeling and knowing he is the man I will marry.
How are you doing? What is your attention on now?
Indians riding down, Arapaho Indians, Great Beaver is with them. And then they raise, poised to shoot and I tell them not to shoot. But at the same time Jones has already told them. He can see they are not a war party. They have women and children with them. They don't bring women and children to a war party.

I come forward. There is this great feeling. I haven't seen him since I was 12 or 13. He said, when he saw me last I was a child with nothing but eyes and stick legs and arms now I am a grown woman. He said I wasn't just one of the others. Mr. Conner's, the wagon master, and he is there too and he tells them that the people on the train are hungry because we have been in Arapaho territory too long. We couldn't cross the river. It was too high. We need meat, but it is forbidden to shoot in this territory for a white. But I am not a white man. I can shoot. Mr. Conner doesn't think that is a very good idea. He doesn't think I can shoot. I can shoot. I can shoot enough meat in one night to feed this whole train of people. Great Beaver knows this. He says I may kill seven buffalo and all the small game I wish. They've gone. Mr. Conner's wants to see how I shoot. So I have to get my rifle from Lariot's saddle bag and show him and show them all, show Jeremy. And I never missed once. Mr. Conner's says I can go, but not alone. And I tell him I am never alone in Indian territory because my grandfather had said that there will always be someone watching. He says that Jeremy is to go with me and scout buffalo at night. Now. So you are going to have to last three days and we ride to the top of the hill and then down and Jim laughed when I put my ear to the ground. But there were no buffalo. Not near enough. So we shot rabbits for a while, prairie chickens, wild turkey. We camp for the night. Seven rabbits. I have to leave the skins behind. The great fever. They have to be skinned tonight. They have to be left before we go tomorrow. I hate skinning rabbits. I don't mind if it is buffalo because they don't seem looking helpless. Boy, a herd of buffalo doesn't look little and helpless. A herd of buffalo is a great, dark rumbling. In the morning we can hear the buffalo. Due West. Couldn't be more than a mile or two. You can hear them standing up. All those buffalo. We only killed seven. There must be 700. It is easy to shoot seven buffalo out of a herd that size. From up on the hill they can't even stampede us. Now we have to get the seven home and we only have two pack horses. We will have to butcher them here and take just the me at. Hope the two pack horses can carry them. I can see us bringing home the meat. All those people who haven't had anything but beef jerky, dried salt pork since we left. All that fresh meat, seven buffalo, 22 rabbits and a lot of chickens. They are tough, they will last.

What happens then?
We spend all day, we don't have to spend all day, Mr. Conner's says the others will do our chores that day because we have done enough. He was really surprised. He never thought we would do it. He wants to talk. He wants to know how many Jim shot and if the Arapaho were watching while he was shooting. He still thinks Jim must have shot them. Jim wouldn't lie about something like that. He was proud that I shot those. He told them he never touched his rifle once. We ate supper in the supply wagon. Jim kept bragging on me. He said he will leave us two young ones alone.

I wonder where Mary Ellen is. I haven't seen her since we came back. There. I am standing behind the trees and they can't see me and they are in the clearing. They are having a terrible fight, him and Mary Ellen.

What happened there? That?
She is furious with him for climbing off on the trail with me alone. It isn't decent and she will make sure all the decent folk on the train stay away from me from here on in. Jim said, the decent folk on the train think more of their belly than that. He said he has been thinking he might not give up the trail yet. He is thinking he might take a few more trips before he wants to settle down.

I love him. That was all right. I keep doing my chores and waiting for a chance to get him alone and talk to him. He went out on a scouting party. Two weeks I didn't see him. Saw Mary Ellen though. She kept looking at me.

OK. What finally happened to Mary Ellen?
They left the train, her and her uncle and aunt. They left the train and said they weren't getting married and there wasn't no point in going to San Francisco. They were going back to Philadelphia.
When do you and Jim get married?
On the train, a week, maybe two weeks after she left. We talked one night and he said he realized he wasn't ready to quit roaming around and settle down yet. I said I was beginning to think the same thing myself, but I wasn't quite ready to settle down somewhere. So we decided to get married and not settle down together.
Now I would like for you to go back to the point where you were shot in the hip by the Mexicans.
I came running out, I heard shots. I came running out, there was Jim's mind on the ground and he was dead even before I got to him. They were laughing and drunk. I heard them out by the barn. Couldn't get away now without a horse. I stood there too long and decided I couldn't leave. I came out and they saw me. They stopped and I looked at them and they were laughing and here is Jim dead so I pulled out his gun and I shot four times and then I knew I had been shot. I don't know when they shot me, but I fell. My legs wouldn't hold me. They rode off. They took Lariot. It doesn't matter any more. Nothing matters any more. They all want to die in this hot sun, or bleed to death in the cool barn. Maybe I can still get help. I crawled into the barn. No better here than it was out there. Cooler. I can't see Jim any more. I am too tired to try. Grandfather's people.
There. What happened there?
Horses, stamping, spooking. I look around. My head is so heavy. (She jumps) Oh, that was right on top of me. Quick, right there when I look up. Struck while I was blind. I just feel hot. Still I don't have to bleed to death out here. Rattler bite that close to the brain, didn't take long. I can't see anything. Can't see the horses, can't see the daylight, can't see anything. I am blind now. Can't see anything.
Keep with that feeling. What happens now?
It doesn't matter, I suppose. It just means my life is over. Not scared of being blind. It is not like I will be blind for life. I'm pretty much no longer there. It is hard to think. Feverish.
What is your attention on now?
It is fine now. It is fine.
How long does it take the body to die?
I don't know, but it is night now. I can tell because it is cool. Afternoon when it happened. She is so sick.
I would like you to take a few deep breaths now.
( She does )
When does the body die?
So many hours.
Get to the point when it dies. There. What happened there?
I lost consciousness there. Now I can see myself lying there. I can see. I can see again.
Are you looking through the body's eyes?
No. I can see the body. I can see the whole barn. The top of the barn from the inside. There is no one around.
How do you feel now?
I feel peaceful. There is no one around.
How long do you hang out in that space? Does anyone show up?
There is no time. It is all the same day.
A sound. A heartbeat. I can't see anything.
Where are you at?
I don't know. It is warm and dark.
Describe the feeling.
It is warm and dark and floating and movement, but nothing.
Move forward in time. What happens there?
Still warm, still dark. Cramped though. What is this? I am falling asleep.
Move forward in time. There.
I am leaving. Being pushed. The space is too tight for my body.
Breath into that. Now, what happens there?
Brightness. It is bright. There is a moon. It is too bright. Can't see anything.
What do you feel?
Hole, wet, water and more water, but it is warmer. It is warmer now.
What kind of body do you have? Is it this lifetime or another one?
I don't know.
What is the date there? There.
What I would like to do is go back to the point where you heard the shot that killed Jim. There. I would like you to tune into the feelings as they come up. And you can breath to help this along.
I heard the shots and ran out. I got my rifle because we were alone and I didn't hear anyone ride up. Seeing him there. He is dead. I am so angry.
Get in touch with that anger.
I could kill the people that did this to him.
What else? Get in touch with that.
I am in danger too, I know that. And I want to kill them first. I don't care if I die or not. I just want to kill them first because they killed Jim. There is no reason to kill him. He never hurt anyone in his life. I'm just standing there. I can't move. He knew

(The tape stops recording but there is more tape left.)

Don Showen, WholeBrain Research Institute, San Jose, CA